Must Read!! DONT GET MARRIED TILL YOU CAN HONESTLY ANSWER THESE 20 SIMPLE .
Must Read!! DONT GET MARRIED TILL YOU CAN
HONESTLY ANSWER THESE 20 SIMPLE .
.
You may have been together with your partner for a
while and you feel the ‘right’ thing to do is finalise
your union by getting married, or you just started
dating someone who looks like they’ll be ‘the one’. Ms
Brenda Della Casa of YourTango says a routine check-
in is never a bad thing.
.
Here are 20 tough questions
to ask about your relationships before moving
forward.
.
Is for better or worse making me better or
worse?
.
Does your partner encourage you to be your
best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any
triumphs and feel more secure when you’re not
putting your best foot forward?
.
Do we really accept one another?
.
There will always
be things you want to change about the people in
your life, but no one should be in a situation where
they feel they aren’t allowed to be authentic and
accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person
they are. Who am I?
.
How can you know if your
partner is a good match if you have no idea who you
are?
.
Am I happy to be in this relationship?
.
The idea of
sharing a life together is not to find someone to
complete you or make you happy. But let’s face it:
being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of
your life … and fast. If you’re always fighting or just
generally not feeling great about your twosome, it
doesn’t mean you have to bail out (counseling might
be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope
that it changes things is a bad, bad idea. Am I feeling
trapped?
.
Do you really want to be in this relationship
the majority of the time or do you find yourself
wishing for a way out?
.
Do you stay because you’ve
invested time or are you really invested in your
mate?
.
What am I doing to hold us back?
.
Maybe you could be
more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let
things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling.
Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up. Is
this relationship balanced?
.
Do you feel you’re both
on the same page in terms of compromise, care,
support and sacrifice?
.
Or is one of you doing most of
the giving while the other just sits with their hand
out?
.
Can we have fun together?
.
Have you ever seen
two people sit across from one another in silence at
brunch as though they are being forced to walk
through their day together?
.
Not. fun. Can we have fun apart?
.
Co-dependency ain’t
cute, y’all. Why am I in this relationship?
.
Is it because
you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are
with?
.
Or because you’re afraid of being alone,
worried about finances, or have built a life you’re
scared to leave? Where is this going? Living in the
“now” is great, but eventually the partnership will
need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious.
.
Do I really trust my partner? For some, the
immediate response to this can be devastating. If
you’re one of them, it’s time to ask why and how you
can begin to build or rebuild trust.
Without it, there’s no chance. Am I with a good
person? Knowing what you know about your partner
today, would you vouch for them if they were a
friend? Am I attracted to my partner? Physical
attraction is hardly the most important component in
a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a
relationship with someone who you’re not attracted
to — just because it’s comfortable or “perfect on
paper” isn’t fair to anyone.
.
You will feel resentful and
they will feel rejected. Am I a parent or a partner?
Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to
do, but when you feel like you’re raising a boyfriend
— or worse, a husband — things get a little
complicated.
You’ll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep
with their mom? Does my partner have my back? Do
you feel like you’re a part of a loyal team who stands
up for one another, supports one another, and shows
a united front (even when the other is not around)?
Or, do you feel like you’re constantly being thrown
under the bus by your mate? Are we looking in the
same direction? Some couples avoid having the big
talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they think
that, somehow, these things will just “work
themselves out.” By the time they realize they won’t,
they’re in a complicated, painful situation that leaves
one (or both) feeling a little bit duped.
.
Are we growing together? Being a human being living
on this earth, we all have a right to grow and
develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you
and your partner still indulging in your passions
(individual and shared) and growing as individuals?
.
Am I still me? Being in love with someone should not
require changing our identity to fit someone else’s
idea of who we should be, on any level. What is my
gut telling me? You have intuition for a reason. Listen
to yourself.
HONESTLY ANSWER THESE 20 SIMPLE .
.
You may have been together with your partner for a
while and you feel the ‘right’ thing to do is finalise
your union by getting married, or you just started
dating someone who looks like they’ll be ‘the one’. Ms
Brenda Della Casa of YourTango says a routine check-
in is never a bad thing.
.
Here are 20 tough questions
to ask about your relationships before moving
forward.
.
Is for better or worse making me better or
worse?
.
Does your partner encourage you to be your
best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any
triumphs and feel more secure when you’re not
putting your best foot forward?
.
Do we really accept one another?
.
There will always
be things you want to change about the people in
your life, but no one should be in a situation where
they feel they aren’t allowed to be authentic and
accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person
they are. Who am I?
.
How can you know if your
partner is a good match if you have no idea who you
are?
.
Am I happy to be in this relationship?
.
The idea of
sharing a life together is not to find someone to
complete you or make you happy. But let’s face it:
being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of
your life … and fast. If you’re always fighting or just
generally not feeling great about your twosome, it
doesn’t mean you have to bail out (counseling might
be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope
that it changes things is a bad, bad idea. Am I feeling
trapped?
.
Do you really want to be in this relationship
the majority of the time or do you find yourself
wishing for a way out?
.
Do you stay because you’ve
invested time or are you really invested in your
mate?
.
What am I doing to hold us back?
.
Maybe you could be
more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let
things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling.
Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up. Is
this relationship balanced?
.
Do you feel you’re both
on the same page in terms of compromise, care,
support and sacrifice?
.
Or is one of you doing most of
the giving while the other just sits with their hand
out?
.
Can we have fun together?
.
Have you ever seen
two people sit across from one another in silence at
brunch as though they are being forced to walk
through their day together?
.
Not. fun. Can we have fun apart?
.
Co-dependency ain’t
cute, y’all. Why am I in this relationship?
.
Is it because
you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are
with?
.
Or because you’re afraid of being alone,
worried about finances, or have built a life you’re
scared to leave? Where is this going? Living in the
“now” is great, but eventually the partnership will
need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious.
.
Do I really trust my partner? For some, the
immediate response to this can be devastating. If
you’re one of them, it’s time to ask why and how you
can begin to build or rebuild trust.
Without it, there’s no chance. Am I with a good
person? Knowing what you know about your partner
today, would you vouch for them if they were a
friend? Am I attracted to my partner? Physical
attraction is hardly the most important component in
a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a
relationship with someone who you’re not attracted
to — just because it’s comfortable or “perfect on
paper” isn’t fair to anyone.
.
You will feel resentful and
they will feel rejected. Am I a parent or a partner?
Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to
do, but when you feel like you’re raising a boyfriend
— or worse, a husband — things get a little
complicated.
You’ll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep
with their mom? Does my partner have my back? Do
you feel like you’re a part of a loyal team who stands
up for one another, supports one another, and shows
a united front (even when the other is not around)?
Or, do you feel like you’re constantly being thrown
under the bus by your mate? Are we looking in the
same direction? Some couples avoid having the big
talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they think
that, somehow, these things will just “work
themselves out.” By the time they realize they won’t,
they’re in a complicated, painful situation that leaves
one (or both) feeling a little bit duped.
.
Are we growing together? Being a human being living
on this earth, we all have a right to grow and
develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you
and your partner still indulging in your passions
(individual and shared) and growing as individuals?
.
Am I still me? Being in love with someone should not
require changing our identity to fit someone else’s
idea of who we should be, on any level. What is my
gut telling me? You have intuition for a reason. Listen
to yourself.
Must Read!! DONT GET MARRIED TILL YOU CAN HONESTLY ANSWER THESE 20 SIMPLE .
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