A piece of kpomo

HOW TO ORGANIZE AN AFFORDABLE WEDDING
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There's no need for me to start stressing the
hardship the society is facing at the
moment. Therefore, organizing a wedding is a
huge heartache to not only the groom but all the
parties involved. So, as a wedding host (MC), I've
taking my time to give you some unique steps to
follow that can make you successfully organise a
wedding for as low as 40 thousand naira.
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Here they are;
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1. Don't buy new clothes. A wedding is for a day,
marriage is for a lifetime. Just wear something
clean to signify the purity of your union. Don't
forget to starch the clothes.
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2. For the ladies, you don't need a bridal train.
Just a trusted friend who will serve as your maid
of honour will do.
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3. For the guys, if your groomsmen can't afford a
black suit individually, you can go for your
favourite football team's jersey. Problem solved.
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3. Photography. You don't need a professional.
Your invited guests will surely come with phones
that has good cameras. Just ensure you give them
your phone number so that they can send you the
pictures later through whatsapp. Well, but if you
feel this is too cheap. Hire a photographer who
can take a dozen good shots of the couple and
important people. This should cost about N2,400
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4. Venue. Anywhere close to your house that has
space enough to accommodate a canopy will do.
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5. Food and drinks 2 crates of coke N2000, 2
crates of fanta N2000, 1 crate of malt for the elders
N2400, 10 bags of pure water 1200 (more than
enough) 5 crates of bottled water 4000 (if you want
to do it big), 4 bottles of Eva wine (for the photos
and cake) 4000, 6 packs of five alive, if your guests
really need alcohol, tell them to bring their own
bottles. Nigeria is hard.
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6. PARTY JOLLOF. Half bag of rice 10,000. Other
ingredients must not cost more than half the cost
of the rice. No need for chicken or beef, kpomo is
better. Nothing more than 7k. Don't forget to make
plenty chinchin. It will keep the jaws of your
guests so busy, they will be too tired to complain
about your wedding.
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7. Hmmmmm *sigh* Cake is important for photos.
You can't twist your way out of this one. I hope
you have relatives who can bake? If not, leave it.
Your wife can kneel and feed you your first meal
with a piece of kpomo or one spoon of jollof.
Problem solved.
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8. Music. Since you want to marry, it means you're
already somehow established. This means you
must have a CD player or a home theatre at home.
Right? Bring your generator from home. You can
rent a speaker along with your chair and canopy
from the rental guys. Not more than 10k I hope.
Prepare a wedding playlist on your phone & give a
trusted relative the duty of handling the simple
work of pause and play button.
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9. The most important part of a wedding is the MC,
a wack MC will ruin your entire effort, but a good
MC can make a wedding of 50k look like a million
dollar wedding. So, look for my number, call me. I
will help you by collecting a mere 30k.
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make i rush enta one wedding, to secure today's
food first