I Was Forced to raise My Head

Yesterday, love almost killed
me and I almost
died. In fact, I died. It was God that saved
my life.

It
was Precious, the lady I met yesterday after
losing contact
for over 3 months.

I fell in love with Precious three months
ago. We were
in love. Then we used to joke about our
hygiene.

Precious once told me that if she doesn't
brush her
mouth for three days no one would know.

We argued
and argued on that issue.

Yesterday was a
crazy
realization that she was wrong.

I met Precious on my way to a nearby
restaurant. I saw
her looking all set-up and kinky. We
shouted in delight.

We couldn't resist hugging each other for
some minutes
along the busy way.

"Where are you headed to?" She asked.
"I'm on my way to #Pounix Guess/eatery
just down the
road."I replied.

"Oh! I love her dishes. Let's go." She said,
and added
"You are paying for my meal."

At the restaurant, she sat opposite me and
started to
gist me where she had been.

But as she
was talking,
the odour from her mouth was like that of
a
rotten pot of beans that had remained
unwashed for
days.

.

Every time she speaks, the poisonous
air blows
towards me. I tried to bend my head low
but she will
say, "MP look at me now!!! Maintain eye
contact."

.

I would be forced to raise my head again.

She kept on talking. I was being poisoned.
In fact,
thank God that madam at the Guess
House/Canteen didn't
bring my food at that instant.

.

I tried not to
breathe for
so long that I almost suffocated. I had to
bend my
head again.

It was that time she was telling me how
much she
loved me.

.

Again, " #MP, why are you looking
down? Are you
shy?"

(In my mind, I shouted "Heeeeee!!!!!")

I replied, "Habaa! Shy? No o."

"That's good because I need to look into
your eyeballs
after all these while." She said.

(In my mind, "Heee!!! Jesus!!! I am dying,
save me"......
Or this girl drank stale urine?)

*10 minutes later*

.

"#MP, eat your food"

"Habaa! Precious! Eat, let me watch your
beautiful
mouth moves."

(In my mind, "at least, you will keep shut")

*20 minutes after she ate*
I was still hungry but I dare not eat the food
considering the odour of her mouth.

.

In a
short while,
she resumed talking. This time, the gist is
about her
ex-boyfriend. I was trying not to breathe.

.

And now, her mouth odour had been
mixed with the
pepper's aroma.

I didn't know when tears started rolling
down my face.

"Ha! #MP, are you crying for me?
Wow! I'm
touched!" She said.

(In my mind, "Thunder fire you!!! Cry for
who? God
punish devil")

I couldn't hold it anymore. I had to come up
with a
quick and sound lie.

She opened her mouth
to speak.
This time, it was my mouth that spoke
before my brain
could think.

.

I said, "Precious, I'm so sorry. I have an
urgent
meeting with god right now."

She looked at me puzzled and asked,
"Which god?"

,

I didn't know when my brain and mouth
came up with
one answer. I replied, "I have an urgent
meeting, with
Sango, the god of Thunder!!!"

.

Thank God she couldn't overcome her
shock till I
reached the doorway.

Still wondering what to drink now to wash my stomach, don't you think I should
drink a little of
detergent to wash my intestines?

Any other suggestions?