my uncle , my uncle

We all have that one particular annoying uncle.
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That uncle who comes to the house and order people around.
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That uncle that is always quick to report your bad deeds to your parents.
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That uncle that always come and then seize the remote control and switch the station to what he alone loves to watch.
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That uncle that you always recognize from the door by that one wretched shoe he always wears.
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We all have and hate that particular uncle.
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I have one who always love to look for my trouble, knowing fully well that I can't fight back because of his age. But this Dec, i plan to go spend the holidays at his house and trust me, I'll definitely revenge everything (he probably doesn't know who mp is).
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I will be going with my airtel and Etisalat sim cards that I don't use anymore, i will save the 2 numbers in his phone as "zainab sweet sex" and "kemi big breast".
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And once it's midnight, i will be calling his line with those 2 numbers. Toh, since I can't fight my elder, i will let his wife fight for me.
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And please don't dare say I'm wicked